'kay, quite happy with not entering properly, BUT, I thought I'd leave this as a thank-you offering;
So, well there I was right? Lots of empty Seaweed shot glasses littered around me ‘cause, to be honest, the Narrating panel wasn’t returning my calls and I’d been desperate for WEEKS. So I was there, as drunk as possible, (which is pretty drunk for a starfish, maaan, some of my best moments were after ten seaweed shots. –‘specially that time with Pete the Octopus. Ahh those were the days,) and this TERRIFYING angler fish comes up to me.
“heyah honey, you looking for a good time?” his gravely voice asked as he swayed.
Now I’m all for interracial love and happiness, but also, I’m all for not getting eaten by my lovers after that wild night of passion.
And he had some pretty big teeth. Eeech.
So five minutes later finds me hiding In the toilets, hoping that Angler (who’s name was Miley) wouldn’t come looking, but he did. I had nowhere to hide. Then suddenly when before my eyes appears another starfish –just as Miley was leaning in closer.
“This guy bothering you?” the other starfish sized up the Angler, and told him to leave.
Miley grumbled, and left. I let out a sigh of relief. I hadn’t been drunk beyond belief, maybe I could have taken the guy on….
The other starfish turned to me
“Hi, I’m Ariel.”
YOU ARE THE BESTEST.
THE BESTEST IN ALL THE LANDS. (AND SEAS.)
Once there was a fish
A very pretty fish
He was a star~fish
As he grew, he had a wish
A wish that he could swish
His hips to get a dish
(And by dish, we mean a sexy kiss)
So he became a slightly bigger fish
And groped and swayed and kissed
And never got his wish
'Cause he found too much bliss
In trying to force a kiss
From any sort of fish
Instead of just one dish!Part 3:
I have no printer, and my art skills fail, but this is an honest to god, authentic picture taken by me on a day trip. (And badly edited by me for fun) My friend and I both absolutely squeed when we saw it. If it doesn't count, let me know, and I can get a different pic? It is the Starfish in my daily life, after all :p
Part one: Done!
omg, idek. /o\part two
WHEN THE STARFISH MET THE SCROLL
The Starfish met the Narration Scroll at a bar. He was feeling a bit down, having just been kicked out (again, and it never stops being humiliating) after an amazing night in somebody else’s bed, so the Starfish was well on his way to totally wasted. The bar was pretty empty, otherwise the Starfish would have a new bedmate in like a second.
The Narration Scroll was also pretty drunk. But he was celebrating! He got a new job! Drinks for everybody! He finally got up on the bar and started dancing—furling and unfurling and making tildes and his best fancy-sloppy letters appear everywhere.
The Starfish looked up and stared, because obviously he and this particular narration scroll were supposed to meet. So that first night, as the Narration Scroll was wandering happily out of the bar, the Starfish pounced on him and kissed him and left sucker marks all over the curly bits of the scroll. The Narration Scroll was drunk enough to allow this, encourage it, even, and it was a pretty great drunk one-night-stand.
But what the Narration Scroll didn’t count on was the fact that the Starfish remembered all those details about the Narration Scroll’s new job. And the Starfish has been stalking him and slowly wearing him down ever since.
(The Narration Scroll never told anyone that, deep down, it made him feel special.)part three
here is the gay starfish
helping me edit in class today.
also, just for fun, this
is the one i took this morning with a starfish that later got his arm ripped. oops. /o\ he's stealing the spotlight, as usual.
done part two
please excuse my grammar. I'm not a writer.
It's hard to be the only starfish around. It's even harder when you're the only starfish in the display tank at red lobster. All day Johnny Weir, the gayest starfish of them all, would look out at the people choosing their lobsters and wonder 'why can't it be me?'. He would call to the people passing by, sometimes asking for love, and sometimes sharing with them a dirty limerick. How was he to know that the district manager's mother was actually from Nantucket?
Little Weir thought that his dreams had finally come true one day when that waitress named Dequindre came to take him from the tank. She was a nice girl who would rub him with a tooth brush. The only thing that would have made Dequindre better was a penis, but alas, you can't win them all.
That sunny day Dequindre came and carefully scooped him into a baggy full of water. It was cramped and Little Weir was scared. Where was the tooth brush? Where was the love? Why was Dequindre crying so much and why were they standing by the sea.
With one last sniffle Dequindre untied the bag and emptied the contents into the sea. Little did she know that she had given little Weir the greatest gift of all. The chance to share his love with all the creatures of the deep blue ocean! part three
for reference a staryu is a type of pokemon
2) When the gay starfish was a young gay starfish, he fell in love with a jellyfish. The gay starfish knew he couldn't have a true romance with the jellyfish of his affections, since to love the jellyfish was to be stung. So he pined and pined, until eventually the jellyfish moved on and the gay starfish never saw his jellyfish love again. As the gay starfish grew older and found other loves, he never forgot his first love, the majestic jellyfish. He was determined not to let another would-be lover slip from his suckers again.
No really, this explains a lot about the gay starfish's behavior. And all of those hickeys I've got.
"Narration box? Is that you?"
"Uh, just a minute honey, I'll be right down!"
And thus concludes our story for this evening. Ta!
The gay starfish has taken a liking to my morning Coke Zero!
"So of course I wanted to end on a high note, right? And I'd saved my best one
, so I look right into the crowd and say, 'A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.' Right? Comedy gold! And I got nothing but crickets
. So my best buddy, he says to me, 'Ralph,--'"
"Wait," Frank interrupts, ignoring Gerard's little whine of protest as Frank ceases to pay careful attention to that spot on his neck. "Your name is Ralph
The starfish narrows his eyes. "I'm trying
to tell you about my stand-up career right now."
"You're just telling puns," Gerard grumbles, crossing his arms and pouting when Frank doesn't pay attention to him. "Nobody likes puns."
The starfish goes into a rant about the integrity of puns, okay?
but Frank just stares in amazement. "Does nobody else care that his name is Ralph
A cluster of 200 or so starfish pop out from under the bed suddenly, shouting things like 'Daddy Ralph!' and 'I care!' The starfish screams and jumps out of the window, his children following diligently.
Gerard stares after them in shock, and Frank smirks. "Knew I could get rid of them somehow."Part 3:
(Bonus fact: I used the Patrick Wolf font.)Part Three:
Since my printer is out of ink, I just edited him in, so I hope that's okay!
A rap, by the Gay Starfish:
Now here's the story all about me,
Your favorite starfish that lives in the sea.
It's not about how I am king of the phallus,
But rather how I came to live in the Bubble Palace.
By the shore of the Black Sea born and raised
On the beachfront where I spent most of my days,
Swimming out, tanning, clinging all cool
And checking out some hotties outside of the pool,
When a couple of sharks, they were up to no good,
Starting making trouble in my neighborhood.
I got in one little fight and Mama Plankton got scared
And said, "You're moving with Boy Princess Gerard in the Bubble Palace."
I waited for a current and when it came by
The fish in it were see-through and the plankton were fly.
If anything I could say that the current was foulest
But I thought, man, whatever, I'm gonna be in a palace!
I floated up to the bubbles about seven or eight
And I yelled to the others, "Y'all jealous. Don't hate."
I thought to my myself, "My fame is eternal"
And so I became the gay starfish of LiveJournal.Part ThreeCaption: Guess who just got laid? Hint: it's me. >:D
I never should have left him alone with my stuffed animals. ;__;
I know this is late but pleaaaaase! My internet broke. :(
Part One: Done!!
They call me the Gay Starfish. My real name is Twinkle. It’s a ridiculous name, I know, but my mother tries to tell me I used to twinkle as a little egg. That’s sort of the reason why I go by the Gay Starfish. It’s just way less embarrassing than Twinkle.
As a little baby starfish, I always dreamed of being a Broadway star. I wanted to sing and dance in the lead role across that stage! But when I went and auditioned, they told me I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. All I could think was Why would I carry a tune in a bucket?! Well after that I was pretty let down, but then I found a new gig.
There was a poster for a gig about some boy princess and an Italian gentleman or something or other. It said that it was in desperate need of comic relief, so I decided to audition. I got the part! And I also met the love of my life. And the other love of my life. And another love of my life. But the real love of my life is that fantastic little scrollbox. I love sticking my tentacles on his – … perhaps I should move on…
Seems the little bugger figure out how to use his suction cups on the keyboard of my laptop...